I was standing in my bathroom, my stomach turning and my hands shaking as Steve stood next to me. We both knew what this first shot meant. We were taking the steps needed to become the parents we want to be. We were REALLY going for it
I was scared and excited all at once. The thought of a shot in my stomach sounded horrible but the thought of not trying felt much worse. If I couldn’t give myself a shot in my belly, I’d never be a mom. That thought was huge and when I think of it that way, doing shots in my belly are no big deal.
That doesn’t mean that it was easy. I can still feel my palms starting to sweat and my hands tremble as I was unwrapping the needle.
It turns out that it’s not as hard as I thought. I do have to psych myself out a bit right before I’m about to administer the shot. I choose to do the shots at bedtime vs. first thing in the morning. This gives me more time to freak out a little bit each night and not have to rush! Ha!
It really is getting easier. I’ll be an old pro by the time we’re done with the belly shots. My next shots are in the booty and I can’t give those to myself. My lovely husband has the honor of administering those to me every other morning, starting on July 1st. I think he’s as nervous as I was when I started. It’s all worth it, but it’s not easy. Every time I freak out, I try to think of the desired outcome and I smile at the thought of our perfect baby or babies and what that means for our family. Here’s my shot affirmation, “Shot=Babies=Love” said with a huge smile, it fills me with love and a feeling of hope. I’m leaning on the Universe, my faith in my higher power, hope that what’s meant to be will be and lots of love.
See, I’m smiling…sort of!