If you’ve been following along, you already know that we had extra embryos left over after our initial egg retrieval and embryo transfer.
What did we do with those leftover embryos?
We had a few options, and it took me some time and strong consideration to decide what to do with them. They are, after all, potential people who are my kids 100% full DnA siblings.
The Options
- Keep them and find a surrogate to carry another baby (preferably a girl this time) for us
- Donate them to other families for them to use and try to have a family of their own
- Donate them to science to study and find out more about the IVF and the magic that it is.
Breaking down each option
A Surrogate
While the idea of having and adding a little girl to our family is a beautiful idea the reality of me as a mom being able to handle a newborn and a total of 3 children at my age became evidently clear as I entered menopause when our twins were only a year old. I was so exhausted, had terrible mood swings, and just couldn’t cope well with life with toddlers, let alone adding a newborn to the mix. After many discussions with my husband, it was decided that we are so happy with the two beautiful, healthy and happy boys that we have, and we aren’t going to tempt fate by trying to have a little girl. What if the embryo split and we ended with twins again. No thank you! I wasn’t then and still am not willing to take that risk. I really like my life being the best mom to two fraternal twin boys.
Donat the Embryos to other Families
This one was tough, and it took a lot of talking and thinking to make the decision that we did. We had 7 viable embryos left and those 7 embryos are 100% full DnA siblings to our children. We had to think about how we will tell the boys that they could possibly have 7 100% full DnA siblings out in the world. The Fertility Center won’t share that information with our children but with the way DnA testing and reporting is growing, we are fairly certain, that when our boys are older, they won’t have any problems finding their 7 100% full DnA siblings. We do plan to tell our kids the truth about their DnA origin. We have actually already started adding it in here and there when we they ask questions about being in mommy’s tummy and other birth questions that kids have. I’m really proud that I was healthy and strong enough to carry and deliver healthy twin boys at 49.9 years old. I’m also proud that we decided to donate the remaining 7 embryos to other families to help them create the families of their dreams. We were given that opportunity and I’m so happy we were able to give that opportunity to these other families. Maybe one day with advanced DnA technology, I’ll actually be able to meet the mom’s that I donated the embryos too. Wouldn’t that be AMAZING! I can just imagine the room full of tears on that day!
Donating the Embryos to Science
This was an easy decision for me. I didn’t want to destroy the embryos. I knew in my heart that they had the potential to become little people and then grow up and be strong, amazing, beautiful, contributing citizens to our world. I couldn’t imagine destroying that potential. I also really like the thought of helping other families have the magic that we experienced. So, as you read above, we did not destryo them. We donated them to other families.
What would you do if you were in the same circumstance as we were? With everything that is happening with reproductive rights now, do you think this will be a viable option in the future? I’d love to hear from others who also did IVF and if they had left over embryos what they decided to do with theirs. I know it’s not an easy decision, no matter what you decide. I don’t judge anyone for any decision they make about their own bodies or their embryos. This is jus the decision that I made for my body, my family and our embryos.